Returning to God's Design for Marriage!

“Let marriage he held in honor esteemed worthy, precious, of great price, and especially dear in all things. And thus let the marriage bed be undefiled and kept un dishonored; for God will judge and punish the unchaste all guilty of sexual vice and adulterous.” (~ Hebrews 13:4 AMPC)

Marriage is a beautiful covenant established by God, yet in today's society, the meaning of marriage has become distorted. We live in a generation where the biblical foundation of marriage is often questioned, redefined, or misunderstood. Respect has been replaced by pride, commitment by convenience, and sometimes love by a desire to control. But what did God intend when He established marriage? The Word of God gives us direction. Unfortunately, many have taken Scripture out of context to justify their own behavior, expectations, and even mistreatment. God is not the author of confusion.  “For God is not a God of confusion but of peace. As in all the churches of the saints,  God's design for marriage is that it be a unique union between a man and a woman in the covenant of life. God's design includes sex, the consummation of that union, which is to be experienced only between a married couple. Any sexual expression outside the marriage covenant is sin.  In the New Testament, marriage is used as an illustration of Christ and his relationship with his bride, the church.  “I promised you to one husband, to Christ, so that I might present you as a pure virgin to him” 2 Corinthians 11:2 “So God's marriage is that it be an unbreakable covenant such as God has made with his people. 

Let's make something clear: Being submissive does not mean accepting disrespect, humiliation, intimidation, or violence. That is not biblical submission, and it is not what God intended for a marriage. A woman does not become a godly wife by losing her voice, sacrificing her dignity, or living in fear of her husband. God did not create marriage to be a place of oppression. Likewise, being the head of the household does not mean being in charge of everyone, demanding obedience, controlling decisions, or believing that a wife is inferior. Biblical leadership is not about power; it is about responsibility. Ephesians 5:25 commands husbands: "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it." Stop and consider those words. Christ did not demonstrate His love through intimidation, humiliation, or domination. He demonstrated His love through sacrifice. A husband who desires to follow God's design must understand that leadership requires humility, accountability, tenderness, protection, and sacrificial love. And a wife who desires to honor God is called to respect her husband, walk alongside him, and cultivate a heart that seeks the Lord. Ephesians 5:21 begins by calling believers to submit to one another in the fear of God. Marriage was never intended to become a battlefield where one person wins and the other loses. It is a covenant in which both husband and wife must continually surrender their pride and allow God to shape their hearts. Does this mean marriage will always be easy? Absolutely not. There will be disagreements, disappointments, misunderstandings, and seasons when we must choose forgiveness. But we must never confuse the challenges of marriage with the acceptance of abuse. God never called a woman to endure violence to prove that she is submissive. If you are experiencing abuse, seek safety and help. Protecting your life is not disobedience to God. This brings me to the heart of this devotion. For those of us who are in leadership; we are not perfect. But God gave us instructions to grow as his Image and the world image of marriage. Saints, It's time for the church to be Jesus Christ in all of our walk with Jesus Christ. As a believer bible in James 1:22 teaches us to be doers of the word, and not hearers only, please do not deceive yourselves. God can not be mocked. Be alert.  I pray that my husband loves as Christ loved. And I pray that God continues to shape me into a woman who understands that biblical submission is rooted in love, reverence, and obedience to God—not fear. Marriage is not about who is in control. It is about two people who have chosen to place God at the center of their covenant. I pray that God continues to teach my husband to lead with humility and love. Give him wisdom to understand the responsibility that comes with being a husband. Teach him to love sacrificially, to listen with patience, and to honor the covenant we have made before You. I also pray that God continues to examine my heart. Teach me to respect without losing my voice, to love without compromising my dignity, and to submit to God's only  Word without accepting what contradicts Your character. May we both become better servants of You and better partners to one another. In Butterfly by Grace I want to pray for your marriage. Let's pray for every marriage that is struggling today asking God for help.

Heavenly Father,

Today, I come before You, acknowledging that marriage is not merely a relationship between two people, but a sacred covenant established by You. It is not something to be taken lightly, abandoned whenever things become difficult, or reshaped according to the standards of this world. Marriage is a commitment made before You, built upon love, faithfulness, forgiveness, humility, and sacrifice. Listen to our prayer king Jesus.

Lord, I pray that You would restore the meaning of marriage in our homes and in our generation. In a society where disrespect, selfishness, pride, and division have become increasingly accepted, teach us to return to Your original design.

Father, teach us as wives to respect and submit to our husbands as Your Word instructs, not out of fear, weakness, or the loss of our identity, but out of reverence for You. Help us understand that biblical submission is not permission for abuse, violence, manipulation, or humiliation. You never intended marriage to become a place of oppression.

Teach husbands to understand that being the head of the household does not mean ruling with an iron fist, demanding obedience, or exercising control. It means carrying the responsibility to love, protect, serve, lead with humility, and sacrifice, just as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself for her.

Lord, remove pride from our marriages. Heal the wounds caused by careless words, betrayal, neglect, resentment, and unforgiveness. Teach couples to communicate with grace, to listen with patience, and to forgive as You have forgiven us. When marriage becomes difficult, remind us that love is not simply a feeling; it is also a daily decision to honor the covenant we have made before You. Help us not to allow the enemy to destroy what You have called us to nurture. May our homes become places where Your presence dwells, where children witness love and respect, where husbands and wives pray together, and where Your Word is the foundation of every decision. Restore the marriages that are struggling. Strengthen those that are weary. Bring healing where there has been hurt, repentance where there has been wrongdoing, and reconciliation where it is safe and possible. Above all, Lord, let us never confuse human traditions with Your Word. Teach us to love according to Your truth, not according to the changing opinions of this world. May our marriages reflect Christ's love for His Church. In Jesus' mighty name, Amen. Amen 👪

I Pray for Him 🙏

 "Submit yourselves one to another in the fear of God."   “Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which his Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should to their husbands in everything.” ~ Ephesian 5:21 KJV

Marriage is not easy. Anyone who tells you otherwise has probably not experienced the seasons when love is tested, patience runs thin, words hurt, and silence becomes louder than conversation. But when you make Jesus Christ Center of it all; this is possible.  It is very important to use the bible for reference, direction and to be full of the Holy Spirit. Let the Holy Spirit lead you in every area of what we call “Marriage”. In today's society the world tries to change what God has established as Men and Women. Marriage brings two imperfect people together, each carrying different personalities, experiences, expectations, and wounds. And sometimes, the person we promised to love for a lifetime becomes the person who challenges our patience the most. But what does the Word of God teach us? In Ephesians 5, we find biblical instructions for marriage. Wives are called to respect and submit to their husbands as unto the Lord, while husbands are commanded to love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her. This is not a competition over who has more authority. It is a calling for both husband and wife to live under God's authority. But today, I want to speak to the wife. When was the last time you prayed for your husband? Not prayed that he would finally understand you. Not prayed that he would change his attitude, become more affectionate, or do things the way you want them done. But prayed for HIM. Have you prayed for his heart? His thoughts? His struggles? His relationship with God? Have you asked the Lord to strengthen him when he feels weak, guide him when he feels lost, and give him wisdom when he has difficult decisions to make? Sometimes, we become so focused on what our husbands are not doing that we forget to bring them before the One who knows their hearts better than we ever could. A praying wife understands that she cannot control her husband's heart, but she can bring him before God. This does not mean remaining silent when something is wrong. It does not mean accepting disrespect, neglect, or mistreatment. God never calls us to confuse submission with abuse or to sacrifice our dignity. It means learning to respond with wisdom instead of bitterness, prayer instead of revenge, and grace instead of constantly keeping score. Proverbs 31:26 reminds us that a godly woman opens her mouth with wisdom, and the law of kindness is on her tongue.

Dear wife, perhaps today your marriage needs more than another argument. Perhaps it needs prayer. Before you ask God to change him, ask God to search your own heart, too. Let Him teach you how to love, how to communicate, how to forgive, and how to establish healthy boundaries. You cannot be the Holy Spirit in your husband's life. That is God's work. But you can be a woman who faithfully brings her marriage before the Lord. Today, I chose to pray for him. Not because marriage is perfect. Not because he is perfect. But because I believe that God is still working in both of us. A Prayer for Him. Let’s pray for our husbands. Bring back to the church what the world today has trying to pull away. 

Heavenly Father,

Today, I bring my husband before You. You know his heart, his struggles, his thoughts, and the burdens he carries that I may never fully understand. Give him wisdom, strength, discernment, and a heart that seeks You. Draw him closer to Your presence. Teach him to love with patience, lead with humility, and walk in integrity. Lord, work in me, too. Remove bitterness, pride, resentment, and anything that prevents me from becoming the wife you have called me to be. Teach me when to speak, when to listen, when to forgive, and when to establish healthy boundaries. Help us remember that we are not enemies fighting against one another. We are two people who need your grace. May our marriage reflect Your love, Your truth, and Your faithfulness. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Reflection:

Am I spending more time criticizing my husband than praying for him? What would change in my heart if I began bringing my husband's needs before God instead of allowing frustration to lead my responses?

Remember: You cannot change your husband through control, arguments, or pressure. But you can pray, seek God's wisdom, and allow Him to work in both of your hearts

The Wilderness Isn't Punishment, Its Preparation!

Wounded in the House of the Lord!

“And you shall remember all the way that the Lord your God has let you spend these forty years in the wilderness, to humble you, to test you, to know what was in your heart.” Deuteronomy 8:2

Have you ever asked God, how much longer am I going to have to carry this? Asking God to please free me, Heal me God. I remember asking God: “Why in your house”? This is supposed to be my safest place. No one should get hurt in church. No child is supposed to be hurt at home. Parents are supposed to protect their children as established by God. “Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.” (Proverbs 22-6)

When the Wound Comes from the Pulpit, one of the most painful experiences a believer can face is being wounded by someone who ministers in the name of Jesus Christ.  We enter the church expecting love, encouragement, spiritual covering, and a place where our faith can grow. We believe that those who lead us spiritually will handle our hearts with prayer, wisdom, humility, and compassion. But what happens when the wound comes from the leader / minister we trusted to guide us? What happens when the wound came from home?

What happens when the words spoken from the pulpit are words of healing, but the words spoken privately leave us broken? What happens when a minister misunderstands us, humiliates us, rejects us, treats us unfairly, or hurts us repeatedly? Sometimes, the pain is difficult to explain because we feel we are not allowed to admit that we have been hurt by someone in ministry. We may fear being labeled rebellious, bitter, unforgiving, or spiritually immature. We may remain silent because we do not want to bring shame to the church or appear as though we are speaking against God's anointed. But let us remember something important: God sees the wound, even when nobody else acknowledges it. He invites us to bring our pain into His presence so that healing can begin. The bible commands believers to pray for people and governing authorities, noting this is pleasing to God, who wants everyone to be saved. I am sure that many reading this blog; might be asking: “How can I pray for a minister who hurt me”? Wicked, crooked, corrupt men and leaders? Really? The answer is YES. They are all God's people who deserve the same grace we did. “Woe to the shepherds who care only for themselves and rule harshly rather than protecting the vulnerable? ( Ezekiel 34:2-10)

When the hurt happens over and over again. There is a difference between being hurt once and experiencing the same kind of hurt repeatedly. Repeated wounds can leave us questioning our worth, our calling, our discernment, and even our place in the church. I know what it feels like to hurt and never say it to show up for everybody while quietly falling apart. I know what it feels like to pray over and over wondering if God heard you? I know what it feels like to support others, and not be supported. I know what It feels to believe in other ministers, and not having anyone believe in you. I know what it feels to be invited to preach; and having the Holy Spirit change the message. I know what it feels to not be invited again to preach because the Holy Spirit brought repentance, denouncing sin from the pulpit. I know what it feels to have ministers humiliate you, when you bring alignment and truth to others. To bring a message to the church of repentance and have the burden of not being heard. I know how the feeling of prophecies and revelation increased; and to stay silent to avoid confrontation. I know how it feels to be left out or disconnected from social circles in a church. Amos felt a profound sense of outrage when he witnessed the widening gap between the rich and the poor. Amos felt frustration towards the nation’s spiritual leaders. Amos carried a heavy emotional weight for the fate of the people. He felt an urgency to preach repentance over and over. I know what it is like to feel like Jeremiah “weeping” because of his deep sorrow and emotional grief over the spiritual decline and coming destruction of his people. I know the feeling of being misunderstood or using your words against you and behind you. I know the feeling of having  ministers divide your marriage, instead of lifting you both in prayer. I know the feeling of not having a minister believe in your spouse calling. Causing doubt and division between both. “They forgot that we are one." For those who did not believe in my spouse or in me; today I tell you: “If you don’t believe in my spouse you don't believe in me." I pray that God opens your spiritual eyes. I pray that God gives you discernment and revelation. “A married couple is no longer two, but one flesh, and what God joins together should not be separated by man.” ( Mathew 19:5-6) (Mark 10:8-9) Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, then man said, this is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called “woman for she was taken out of the man” that is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. Adam and his wife were naked, and they felt no shame.”(Genesis 2:22-23) Let marriage be held in honor among all.

Read with your spirit. A good wife is to be a blessing to her husband all the days of her life. Our main goal as a woman is to be a blessing to everyone around us, particularly our husband. Pray for your husband. “What God brought together, don’t let Satan creep in and separate on the sly, because he will try, even through friends, parents, ministers or anyone used by the devil”. Never allow anyone to talk down on your spouse. Not a member of your church, not family or friends. Fight together the good fight! Pray together! You are one! “Do two walk together, unless they have agreed to meet? (Amos 3:3) Marriage in ministry is a sacred calling that requires dedication, respect, love, and mutual respect. Seeking biblical principles and seeking God’s guidance, we can navigate the challenges and joy of serving God together in the work of the Lord. Protect your first ministry and be ready to respond living with integrity, kindness, and readiness to support others. “For if I preach the Gospel, that gives me no reason to boast, for I feel compelled of necessity to do it. Woe is me if I do not preach the glad tidings! ( 1 Corinthians 9:16) “As for you, always be sober minded, endure suffering, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry.” (2 Timothy 4:5) “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as prophet to the nations.” (Jeremiah 1:5)

We may begin asking ourselves, Was it my fault? Did I do something wrong? Why does this keep happening? Does God see what I am going through? I knew I needed to be free desperately. I did not like the place that I was or the women that I have turn into bitter and anger. Each day, I pulled away further from my calling. I did not want to pursue my calling. I did not want to continue building instead; I walked away from all responsibilities. I wanted nothing to do with ministry because I felt dirty and not worthy. I was visiting and that only brought more disappointments to hear lukewarm messages and sugar-coated preaching. In my deep hurt I was still able to discern the conditions of each church I visited. Most messages did not help the state I was in. Too much water down messages. I needed to turn to Jesus and preach what most people was not preaching.

When the person hurting us is a spiritual leader, the pain can become even more complicated. We may confuse honoring spiritual authority with accepting mistreatment. We may believe that forgiving means we must remain silent, continue giving someone access to our lives, or pretend that everything is well. But forgiveness does not require us to call wrong behavior right.

Jesus taught us to forgive, but forgiveness does not mean abandoning wisdom, truth, accountability, or healthy boundaries. We can forgive someone and still recognize that their behavior was harmful. We can pray for a minister and still step away from an unhealthy relationship. We can honor God without giving another person permission to keep wounding us. Forgiveness is not weakness. Jesus Understands the Pain of Betrayal. Jesus Himself experienced betrayal, rejection, and injustice. He was betrayed by Judas, denied by Peter, rejected by many, and condemned despite His innocence. When we are wounded, we can come to Him honestly. We do not need to hide our tears, pretend to be strong, or rush through the process of healing. We can tell Him exactly what happened and how deeply it affected us. We can pray, “Lord, I am hurt. I do not understand why this happened. I want to forgive, but my heart is still in pain. Please help me.” Jesus free me! I need to get up! I need to be free! Jesus, I want to preach your gospel again. “Also, I heard the voice of the lord, saying Whom shall I send? And who will go for us? Then said I, here am I; send me." (Isaiah 6:8)

(Ephesians 4:31–32) teaches us to put away bitterness, anger, and malice, and to be kind and forgiving toward one another, just as God forgave us through Christ. Forgiveness may not happen emotionally in a single moment. Sometimes it is a decision we make today and reaffirm tomorrow when the memory returns. Sometimes we must pray through the hurt repeatedly as God heals the places that were deeply wounded.

But we do not have to remain prisoners of what someone did to us. We can release the desire to retaliate. We can stop rehearsing the offense as though we must carry the burden forever. We can entrust justice to God while taking appropriate steps to protect ourselves and seek accountability when necessary. And we can remember that forgiveness does not automatically restore trust. Reconciliation requires more than one person's willingness to forgive; it may require repentance, changed behavior, accountability, and time. We are not alone in our pain. Having had time to heal and many years to process a betrayal, God has shown me that he can use ministry betrayal as opportunities for forgiveness. 

The most difficult part about my betrayer was the fact that there was never an apology. It’s easy to think the worst of our betrayers instead of trying to see them as God sees them. Most leaders are unaware of the wounds they are infiltrating on others.  So many become so blind and focus on their own personal agendas that they lose sight of the person. Maybe the betrayal you’ve experienced has come from a ministry like mine. Perhaps, a partner, friend, spouse, or a child. Injustice of any kind hurts as much. I have been hurt and damaged by leaders at work, family and close friends. I can look back and remember the feeling of not being able to breath and feeling chest pain. In my previous blog; I testify to my childhood rejections from my own sisters. I also testify to the rejection in nursing as a new nurse. I do this, because Jesus Christ freed me. Yes, my scars are still notable and fresh. My scars do not define me. My failure doesn’t define me. This is not my home. “The world is not my home”. “I am just passing through”.  I am waiting for Jesus to return and to be part of his kingdom. 

You can forgive someone without returning to the same environment that wounded you. You can pray for someone without allowing them to continue hurting you. You can love people while maintaining boundaries. And you can continue serving Jesus even when someone in the church has disappointed you. Most important, do not imitate their evil behaviors or hypocrisy, instead  be imitators of Christ. “Walk in Love, just as Christ also loved you and gave himself up for us and make sure that your name is the book of life.” 

Do not allow the failures of a minister to become the measure of God's character. People may disappoint you, but Jesus remains worthy of your trust. I Choose Freedom. Perhaps you have been hurt by a pastor, leader, a church member, or someone you once considered a spiritual parent. Perhaps you have cried in private while continuing to worship in public. Perhaps you have questioned whether there is still a place for you in the house of God. This was not Jesus. You don't have to carry what Jesus already died for. You don't have to stay where grace came to pull you from. He freed me, and I believe he can free you too. Waiting for apologies that never came. Forgive, when I didn't feel like forgiving. Saying, “I’m okay; but tired. Jesus sees me! Jesus cares. Jesus will never hurt me like they did”. What they did doesn't own you. To anyone reading this blog; if my testimony can help you hold one more fight, Jesus can free you. Today, I want to remind you that your healing matters to God. You do not have to pretend that the wound did not happen. You do not have to rush your healing to prove that you are spiritual. You do not have to carry shame because someone in a position of spiritual leadership hurt you. It’s okay to wait even in the wilderness. The wilderness is not punishment, instead preparation, alignment and redirection. “Let no one deprive you of your crown”. “I am coming soon. Hold fast to what you have, so that no one will take your crown.” (Revelation 3:11) 👑

Ask Jesus to heal your heart, renew your mind, and teach you how to forgive without surrendering your wisdom or dignity. Allow Him to show you when to speak, when to establish boundaries, when to seek help, and when it is time to walk away. Do not let the wound become your identity. You are more than what someone did to you. Your calling is not defined by another person's treatment of you, and your relationship with Jesus does not have to end because a person disappointed you. Today, I choose forgiveness not because the hurt was insignificant, but because I refuse to let the hurt have the final word over my heart. I choose to forgive, to heal, and to move forward with God.

I may have been wounded in the house of God, but I will not allow that wound to steal my freedom in Christ. I can forgive without denying the truth, love without accepting mistreatment, and serve God without remaining bound to the people who hurt me. My heart belongs to Jesus. My healing belongs in his hands. And my freedom begins as I surrender the pain to Him.  Pray with me!

Let’s pray. 🙏

Heavenly Father, I come to you for healing and freedom. I desperately need you to heal my brokenhearted and bind up my wounds. Father, it hurts. As I write this blog; I admit, I am desperately asking for divine intervention. I ask forgiveness if I have hurt during my bitterness and anger. I understand that being hurt doesn’t disqualify my calling. I am asking to please have mercy on me and anyone who has been hurt. Anyone who has felt like walking away from their calling and responsibilities. It is very hard to walk feeling no purpose. In the name of Jesus Christ,  I declared healing. In the name of Jesus bring freedom to captives and comfort to the afflicted. Lord, I come to you with a wounded and exhausted heart. The sting of betrayal runs deep, and it hurts most because it came from those I trusted and loved. Today, I release these people and this heavy burden into your hands. In the name of Jesus, contend O Lord, with those who content with me, fight against me. Take hold of shield and bucker and rise up to help me. Take up shield and armor arise and come to my aid. May those who seek my life be disgraced and put to shame. May those who plot my ruin be turned back in dismay. How long Lord, will you look on? As David pray, so I pray to you today. Do not let those gloat over me who are my enemies without cause; do not let those who hate me without cause; Lord, you have seen this; do not be silent. Lord, freed me from doubt and shame. Open and unlock doors that have close. Let them be like chaff before the wind, and let the angel of the Lord chase them. Let their way be dark and slippery, and let the angel of the Lord pursue them. Use me for your glory. My forgiveness is not an endorsement of what happened; it is my decision to place my heart in God's hands and walk in the freedom Jesus Christ has given me.” I pray that they repent so that you can help them be restore. The Lord be exalted, who delights in the well being of his servant. My tongue will proclaim your righteousness, your praises all day long. In the name of Jesus, Amen and Amen.

Prayer 🙏

Heavenly Father,

I come before You in the name of Jesus Christ, bringing every wound, every disappointment, and every tear caused by those I trusted. Lord, you know the things that happened in private. You know the words that were spoken, the rejection that was experienced, and the pain that others may never fully understand. Nothing is hidden from Your sight. Father, heal every wounded heart. Heal those who have lost their joy in worship, those who are afraid to trust again, and those who have quietly questioned their place in your house. Retire the joy of  our salvation! 

Give us the grace to forgive, even when the pain is still real. Remove bitterness from our hearts, but do not allow us to confuse forgiveness with accepting continued mistreatment. Give us wisdom to establish healthy boundaries, courage to speak the truth with love, and discernment to recognize relationships that are no longer safe or healthy. Lord, help us not to become the very thing that wounded us. Keep our hearts tender without making us vulnerable to repeated harm. Teach us to walk in love without abandoning truth, and to pursue peace without sacrificing righteousness.

For every minister who has caused harm, we pray for genuine repentance, humility, accountability, and transformation. May those who lead your people remember that leadership is a sacred responsibility and that every person deserves to be treated with dignity and compassion. Father, restore those who have been discouraged. Remind them that they can still seek you, worship you, and grow in your word. Surround them with healthy, trustworthy people who will encourage their healing and spiritual growth. Jesus, be our healer, our refuge, and our peace. We surrender the pain to you, King Jesus trusting you to guide us toward freedom. In Jesus' mighty name, Amen. 

He Will Spare The Entire City For Their Sake!

 “Let no one be found among you who sacrifices their son daughter in the fire, who practices divination or sorcery, interprets omens, engages in witchcraft, or casts sells, or who is a medium or spirit who consults the dead. Anyone who does these things is detestable to the Lord; because of these same detestable practices the Lord your God will drive out those nations before you.” Deuteronomy 18: 10-12  

I remember growing up sitting between the curtains, waiting for my parents to come out. One day, curiosity got the best of me, and I decided to peek through the curtains. What I saw that day stayed with me. There was a woman sitting at a table. Something was wrapped around her head, and in front of her was a large, round glass vase filled with water. Across the table sat my parents. I remember watching as this woman invoked spirits, spoke about the future, and gave my parents a long list of things they needed to buy. At the time, I was only a child. I did not understand what I was witnessing, but the memory remained deeply rooted in my mind. My grandmother had practiced witchcraft and was associated with the spirit of divination. These were things that existed within my family long before I was old enough to understand their spiritual implications.

My father was a wealthy businessman, while my mother was a homemaker who devoted her time to caring for her children, cleaning the house, and managing the responsibilities of the home. Every Sunday, my parents attended Mass. They identified as “Catholics” and participated in the traditions of the church. Yet, despite the wealth my father possessed, our family was deeply dysfunctional. There were frequent arguments, and unfortunately, my father struggled with alcoholism. We may have had material possessions, but our family lacked the peace, healing, and wholeness we desperately needed.

My parents sent me to the Catholic Church, where I received my First Communion and participated in the other traditions and sacraments expected of us.  Yet, during those years, something else was happening in my life. My dreams began to increase in frequency and intensity. I was still so young. I did not understand why the things I saw in my dreams would later unfold in real life. I did not know how to make sense of these experiences, and I had no one who could help me understand them. I carried these questions with me as I grew older.

Looking back now, I believe God was preparing me for something greater than I could have imagined as a child. What I did not understand then became part of the testimony I would one day share.  I can honestly say that my journey with God has not been an easy one. In many ways, it has been one of the most difficult journeys I have ever walked. Being the first person in my family to come to Christ brought challenges I had never anticipated. Choosing to follow Jesus did not mean that every battle disappeared. Instead, I had to learn what it meant to stand firm in my faith when the people around me did not understand my decisions or the transformation taking place in my life. The mountain has been enormous. There have been moments when I have prayed and wondered when things would change. There have been seasons when I felt as though nothing was happening, when the road seemed long, and when the answers I was waiting for did not come as quickly as I hoped. “Silence does not mean abandonment, and waiting does not mean that God has forgotten me. ”Through every mountain, every setback, every unanswered question, and every season of waiting, one truth remains: God is my Redeemer. Job 19:25 declares, “For I know that my redeemer lives.” The same God who drew me to Himself when I was young is the God I continue to depend on today.

I once wondered why I experienced the things I did as a child. Today, I look back with a deeper desire to understand His Word, grow in spiritual discernment, and remain grounded in Jesus Christ. I want my experiences to lead me closer to Him, never away from the truth of His Word. Even as a young child, something deep inside me sensed that something was not right. I could not explain it, and I did not have the understanding or knowledge to put my feelings into words. Looking back now, I believe God was already drawing my attention to the spiritual realities around me.

I came to Jesus when I was around nineteen or twenty years old. But my journey to Him was not simply about religion. I came to Jesus because I needed healing. I needed restoration. I needed someone to help me rebuild what had been broken inside me. I had grown up carrying wounds, confusion, and questions that I could not answer on my own. I needed more than outward appearances, religious traditions, or material possessions. I needed the transforming power of Jesus Christ. I also began to understand the importance of His Word. The Bible speaks about witchcraft, divination, and the dangers of seeking spiritual guidance apart from God. Throughout Scripture, we see examples of people being warned against turning to forbidden spiritual practices instead of seeking the Lord.

God's Word gives us light when we are surrounded by confusion. It teaches us to discern what is right, to recognize spiritual deception, and to seek His wisdom rather than relying on every voice that claims to have answers about our future. We are living in a time when there is a great need for spiritual discernment, both inside and outside the church. Many people in this fallen world are fascinated by the paranormal. Many people do not understand the spiritual significance of the choices they make. When they are hurting, afraid, desperate, or searching for answers, they may turn to the wrong people or places for guidance. Some are drawn to practices that celebrate darkness without understanding the spiritual implications of what they are embracing. There's a thin line between curiosity and spiritual danger. It is time to turn to God.  This is why it is so important to keep Jesus Christ at the center of our lives. When we are in trouble, we must be careful about where we seek help. We need the wisdom of the Holy Spirit and the foundation of God's Word to guide our decisions. My desire is not to condemn people who are confused or searching for answers. I understand what it feels like to grow up surrounded by things you do not understand. I know what it is like to carry questions and wounds that you are too young to explain. My heart is to encourage people to seek the truth, find healing in Jesus, and allow the Word of God to illuminate their path.

When I look back at my childhood, I realize that although I did not understand everything I was seeing, something within me recognized that I needed more than what the world around me could offer. I thank God everyday for sending me to my mother in law. She knew I was called! She took the time to take me to church. She bought my first bible. She took my children to church; when I didn't. “She proclaimed God's word and seed to my children.” “As for me and my house we will serve the Lord”. In case you are wondering; I was 20 years old in a Pentecostal church. Yes, I was scared and confused. But, I learned to fight! I learned to pray and read my bible! I learned the true gospel! I learned the good news of Salvation through Jesus Christ. I learned sound doctrine that cannot be condemned, so that opponents may have nothing! Today, I do not accept any other gospel other than the finished work of Jesus Christ. I departed because I was too young; but not for a long time. The seed planted in you as a child is the word of God, and that same seed I planted on my four kids. The seed is alive, It is steadfast, and it bears the fruit of the Kingdom from generation to generation. Feeling lost can be a heavy and exhausting place, yet I found comfort, clarity and rescue in only Jesus Christ my redeemer my savior my healer.  “I drew them with cords of a man, with bands of Love and I was to them as one who lifts us and cases the yoke over the cheeks, and I bent down to them and gently laid food before them”. (Hosea 11:4). 

I believe God was calling me long before I knew how to answer Him. Before I understood His Word, before I knew how to discern the spiritual things around me, and before I fully understood my own brokenness, God was already drawing me toward Himself. I came to Jesus Christ because I needed Him. I came wounded, searching, and in need of restoration. God can meet us in the middle of our brokenness, bring light into the places where confusion once lived, and lead us into the truth of His presence. My story is a reminder that your beginning does not have to determine your ending. You may grow up surrounded by confusion, dysfunction, or spiritual darkness, but those things do not have to define the rest of your life. There is healing in Jesus. There is freedom in His truth. And there is hope for every person who turns to Him.

Today, I can look back and remember God’s grace. “Or what woman, having ten silver drachmas each one equal to a day's wages if she loses one coin, does not light a lamp and sweep the house and look carefully and diligently until she finds it? And when she finds it, she summons her women friends and neighbors, saying "rejoice with me, I have found the silver coin which I had lost.”. “There is rejoicing in the presence of angels of God over one sinner who repents”. ~Luke 15:10 🙌

Lets pray! 🙏

Heavenly Father, I come before You in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, giving You all the glory, honor, and praise. Lord, I thank You because You are the God who calls us out of darkness. You are the God who restores broken hearts, delivers those who are bound, and brings hope to those who have lost their way in Jesus name. I pray for every person reading these words. Holy Spirit, open their spiritual eyes. Remove the veil of confusion, ignorance, and deception that prevents them from recognizing Your truth. Give them a heart that desires You, a mind that seeks Your wisdom, and a spirit that longs for Your presence. Lord, for those who are searching for answers, show them that true peace is found in You. For those who are hurting, lead them to Your healing presence. For those who are afraid of the future, teach them to trust You. For those who have turned to the wrong places and people because of desperation, disappointment, or pain, gently draw them back to Yourself. Deliver us from every practice that leads us away from You. Give us the discernment to recognize what does not honor Your name. Help us to turn away from darkness, occult practices, divination, and every spiritual influence that draws our hearts away from Jesus Christ. Your Word declares in Ephesians 1:18 that the eyes of our understanding may be enlightened. Father, let that prayer become a reality in our lives. Open our eyes to Your truth. Give us wisdom to understand the times in which we live, and help us to remain rooted in Scripture rather than being carried away by every voice, teaching, or spiritual experience. Lord Jesus, be the center of our homes, our families, our decisions, and our lives. Where there has been brokenness, bring restoration. Where there has been confusion, bring clarity. Where there has been fear, bring Your peace. Where there have been generations of pain, begin a new chapter of healing, truth, and faith. Father, I especially pray for those who have grown up in dysfunctional homes, those who have witnessed things they could not understand, and those who carry wounds from their childhood. May they discover that their past does not have to define their future. Let them know that they are not beyond Your reach. Your grace is sufficient, Your mercy is abundant, and Your love is able to meet them in their deepest places of pain. Holy Spirit, lead us into all truth. Teach us to test what we hear against the Word of God. Give us the courage to reject what draws us away from Christ and the humility to follow You even when the journey is difficult. Father, raise up a generation that will not exchange Your truth for deception, Your presence for spiritual counterfeits, or Your light for darkness. Let our children know You. Let our families experience Your love. Let our churches become places where truth is taught, broken hearts are restored, and people are pointed toward Jesus Christ. Lord, when the mountain seems too great, remind us that You are our Redeemer. When we cannot see the way forward, be the lamp unto our feet. When we feel forgotten, remind us of Your unfailing love. Give us the grace to remain faithful, even in seasons when we cannot understand what You are doing. Today, we surrender our hearts to You. Search us, cleanse us, guide us, and transform us. Let our lives bring glory to Your name. For anyone who has never truly surrendered their life to Jesus, may this be the beginning of a new journey. May they turn to You with a sincere heart, receive Your forgiveness, and learn to walk in Your truth. Let them discover the freedom, peace, and restoration that come through a relationship with Jesus Christ. Jesus, You are the way, the truth, and the life. In the mighty name of Jesus Christ, we pray. Amen and Amen... Hallelujah

"The Wounds We Carry"

"LORD, you have seen this; do not be silent. Do not be far from me, Lord” (Psalm 35:22, NIV).

I was only thirteen years old. I can still remember the day my older sister said to me, “Get ready so that you can come with us.” My heart filled with excitement. I hurried into my room, put on my makeup, dressed up, and rushed into my older sister’s room with a big smile on my face. “I’m ready! Let’s go!” I said. But sadly, before I even realized what had happened, she was gone. They had left without me. I remember going to bed that night crying, still wearing my makeup. I was hurt. I was only thirteen, and I could not understand why my own sisters would do something like that to me. When my sister returned, I remember my two older sisters laughing so hard at me because I still had my ruined makeup on. I could hear their laughter as they made fun of me, knowing that they had fooled me. Perhaps, to them, it was just a joke. But to me, it was a painful memory that would stay with me for years. And this was only one of many experiences.

Growing up, there were so many times when I felt left out, rejected, and ashamed. I wondered what was wrong with me. Why did I feel so unwanted by the very people I longed to be loved by? Why did I repeatedly find myself feeling excluded by my own older sisters? I carried those wounds for many years. Sometimes, the deepest wounds are not caused by strangers. They come from the people we love, the people whose acceptance we long for, and the people we hope will make us feel that we belong. Can anyone relate?  In the bible Joseph’s brothers hated him due to severe parental favoritism by their father Jacob. Later in Genesis 37, Joseph’s brothers threw him into an empty pit (Cistern) and later sold him into slavery for 20 pieces of silver. Later, Genesis 50:19 “But Joseph said to them, “Don’t be afraid. Am I in the place of God? You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is not being done, the saving of many lives. I will provide for you and your children.” And he reassured them and spoke kindly to them.” As I look back at that thirteen-year-old girl, I wish I could reach out to her, hold her in my arms, and tell her that she was worthy of love. I wish I could tell her that being left behind did not mean she was unlovable. But there is something else I have had to learn on my journey with God: I have to forgive. And if I am honest, forgiveness has not always been easy.  How do you forgive the people who wounded you repeatedly? How do you let go of the pain when the memories are still there? How do you move forward when a part of your heart still remembers what it felt like to be rejected? How do you forgive when some people don’t have Jesus? How do you forgive people who still hurt you? 

I have learned that forgiveness does not mean pretending that the hurt never happened. It does not mean calling something harmless when it causes you pain. And it does not mean that you must allow someone to continue hurting you. Forgiveness means bringing the pain before God and allowing Him to work in the places of our hearts that still ache. I may not be able to change what happened to that little girl, but I can ask God to heal the woman who still remembers.

I can tell the truth about my pain without allowing bitterness to become my home. I can acknowledge what happened without allowing those memories to define my worth. And even when healing takes time, I can continue asking God to help me forgive. Because the truth is, I can forgive someone and still need God to heal the wound they left behind. Today, I am learning to give those wounds to God, one memory at a time. I was the reason my sister heard: “Jesus save me” when no one else could. The first bible gift was for my sister. My first preaching was for my sisters.   Unfortunately, getting hurt, betrayed and disrespect seems at times to be part of my journey. There are times that it feels like the wound was re-open, this time deep! There is a particular kind of pain that comes from being wounded by someone who was never supposed to hurt you. It is one thing to be hurt by an enemy. You expect opposition from someone who does not love you. You expect betrayal from someone who has never been trustworthy. But what happens when the wound comes from someone you trusted? Someone who sat at your table, shared your laughter, knew your struggles, heard your prayers, and had access to the most vulnerable places of your heart?  What happens when the person who knew where you were hurting becomes the very person who hurts you? This is my everyday journey. Everyday, I have to forgive! I really have been tested! I admit, I do not like this test because it really hurts so much. “God is close to those who are hurting and saves those who are crushed in spirit”. (Psalm 34:18)

David understood the pain of betrayal. In Psalm 41:9, he speaks of a familiar friend, someone who ate his bread, someone close enough to be true.   The wound: Being hurt repeatedly by the people you grew up with and perhaps expected to love and protect you. There is a particular wound that comes from someone you trusted. I have not only been hurt from my sister’s but by ministers, leaders in power. 

After being deeply hurt, My question to God: “I’ve forgiven, but I'm still angry about it! Why am I still feeling this way after forgiving him?” This question is one many of us carry, if we’re honest. If forgiveness is the solution to being hurt, why are we still angry after forgiving? I believe it’s because forgiveness and healing are not the same thing. As a nurse I have been hurt by colleagues and team leaders in power. Imagine you’re riding your bike, and someone veers into the lane and breaks your leg. Even if you forgive them, you still have a broken leg. Left untreated, it gets infected, eventually costing you the limb. Many of us are limping through life with the emotional equivalent of a broken, infected, amputated heart. So how do you heal the wound that remains after the offense?  What do you do when the offender isn’t sorry? This is very tough! As you read this blog. I hope that you can take the time to fast and pray. Because it is through fasting and praying that we forgive. We can not do this, but God can heal you. Just like David prayed out his pain raw, unfiltered, honest asking God to bring his enemy to justice ; so I have. “LORD, you have seen this; do not be silent. Do not be far from me, Lord” (Psalm 35:22).

Let’s pray! 🙏

God, I need you. We need you. God, we ask for forgiveness. What they did to me was wrong, and I ask you to repay them according to your word. I trust your justice. Help me understand that your plan is redirection. Father, Abba awake and rise to my defense! Please contend for everyone reading this blog! Everyone who has been hurt inside or out of the fathers house. Redirect our paths. Guide us! We need your help. Father, You know the wounds I have carried for years. You know the memories I rarely speak about and the tears I have cried in silence. Help me forgive those who have hurt me, even when the pain is difficult to release. Heal the places in my heart that still feel rejected, forgotten, and unloved. Remind me that my worth does not depend on how others have treated me. Teach me to forgive without denying my pain, and lead me toward the healing only You can bring. In Jesus’ name, Amen. 

“I Don't Want to Grow Up”

Scripture: “When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.”

~1 Corinthians 13:11🦋

There are moments in life when I don't want to grow up. Not because I don't want to be a responsible woman. Not because I don't want to be strong. But because sometimes life becomes so hard that I wish I could be a little girl again where Mommy and Daddy could fix everything.

When I was a child, I didn't carry the weight of difficult decisions. I didn't have to figure out what to do when things went wrong. When something scared me, I ran to my parents. But then we grow up. Suddenly, people are looking to us for answers. As a nurse, I have experienced moments when things can become scary. There are times when you are standing there waiting for the doctor, and you are it. The patient is looking at you. The family is looking at you. Everyone is waiting for you to know what to do.

Sometimes, even though you appear calm on the outside, inside you are thinking, “God, please help me. I'm scared too.” There are moments when life feels exactly like that. Last week I was being faced with all the odds against me. “ I started crying, I was complaining to my husband”. “I am tired”. “I don’t want to grow up”. “At times I wish I was just a little girl without any responsibilities”. What do you do when you are it?  As a little girl “Tag” is a playground game involving one or more players chasing other players in an attempt to “tag” and tag chase the kids until someone is “it”.  My husband sat there to listen until he decided to sing to me the “Toys r us “ song; “ I don’t want to grow up, I want to be a toy’s r us kid”. Sounds Funny? Yes, but at that moment I was hurting. I was calling on God for a rescue. 

You have to make difficult decisions. You have responsibilities. People depend on you. You have to keep moving even when you are mentally exhausted and physically tired. And sometimes you wonder: “How am I supposed to be a victorious woman when I don't even feel strong?” Maybe you've asked yourself that question too. How do I keep going when I'm tired? How do I make the right decision when I don't know what to do? How do I remain strong when I feel like falling apart? How do I become the woman God has called me to be when sometimes I just want to be someone's little girl again?

Then God reminds me of something beautiful: I may have grown up, but I have never outgrown my Father. I am still His daughter. The difference is that my earthly parents cannot always fix everything anymore. There are problems they cannot solve and burdens they cannot carry for me. But my Heavenly Father can meet me in every situation. When I am afraid, He is there. When I am exhausted, he is there. When I don't know what decision to make, He is there. When I feel like everyone is depending on me, I can depend on Him.

Growing up doesn't mean that I have to become so strong that I no longer need help. Growing up in Christ means learning where to run when I don't have the answers. The world may see a nurse. The world may see a woman. The world may see someone who is capable, responsible, and strong. But God sees His daughter. And daughters are allowed to come home. Sometimes I don't need another strategy. Sometimes I don't need another answer. Sometimes I just need to sit in my Father's presence and say, “Abba, I don't know what to do. I'm tired. I'm scared. Please help me.” And He does. Maybe that is what victorious womanhood really looks like. Not a woman who never gets scared. Not a woman who always knows what to do. Not a woman who never cries. But a woman who, even in the middle of fear, remembers whose daughter she is. I don't want to grow up. And maybe that's okay. Because I can grow in wisdom, responsibility, strength, and faith and still remain childlike enough to reach for my Father's hand. I am growing up, but I  am not growing away from God. I am His daughter. And He is still my Father.

Prayer: 🙏

Father, sometimes I don't want to be strong anymore. Sometimes life feels overwhelming, and I wish I could go back to being a little girl when Mommy and Daddy could make everything better. There are moments when I am afraid, tired, and unsure of what to do. Remind me that I don't have to carry everything by myself. Help me remember that I am still Your daughter. When I don't have the answers, give me wisdom. When I am afraid, give me courage. When I am exhausted, give me rest. And when I feel like I have to be strong for everyone else, remind me that I can always be weak in Your presence. Thank You for being the Father I can always run to. Amen.

Reflection: 💥Where in your life are you trying to be strong when God is simply asking you to trust Him? What would change if, instead of asking, “How am I going to handle this?” you asked, “Father, how are you going to carry me through this?” You may have grown up, but you will never outgrow your need for your Father. “Growing up has taught me that people leave. That prayers are sometimes answered differently than I expected. That some wounds take longer to heal. That being strong can become exhausting. And that sometimes the person everyone depends on simply wants someone to say, “You don't have to carry this alone.”